Over the course of the last two decades, few scientific discoveries have generated broader interest than the large-scale detection and characterization of extrasolar super-Earths. The basic properties of these planets are straightforward to summarize: they have orbital periods that are measured in weeks rather than years; have masses that typically exceed that of the Earth by a factor of a few; appear to have cores that are predominantly rocky in nature; often possess substantial H/He atmospheres, and frequently occur in multiples. Beyond these basic attributes, recent work has revealed that short-period extrasolar planets exhibit an intriguing pattern of intra-system uniformity, which stands in sharp contrast with the staggering overall diversity of the Galactic Planetary Census. A complete understanding of how these planets coalesce within their natal disks remains elusive. While the pebble-accretion paradigm can readily account for the existence of multi-Earth-mass planets, this theory also predicts that super-Earths accrete beyond their natal disks' snow-lines and should therefore be water-rich, in contradiction with the available data. In this talk, I will advance a different scenario: building upon recent work — which demonstrates that planetesimals can form rapidly at discrete locations in the disk — we propose that super-Earths originate inside rings of silicate-rich debris at approximately ~1 AU. Within the context of this picture, planets grow primarily through pairwise collisions among rocky planetesimals until they achieve terminal masses that are regulated by isolation and the effects of orbital migration. Numerical simulations of this process demonstrate that our synthetic planetary systems bear a close resemblance to compact, multi-resonant progenitors of the observed population of short-period extrasolar planets. I will also give a status update on all things Planet 9.